Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
