I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
