Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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