Moan for me like Helen Keller
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
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