i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
