U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize