I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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