i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
