he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
