i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
