i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
