Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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