are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
