WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
should my penis look like a turkey
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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