I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
