this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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