Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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