When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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