i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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