Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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