You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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