i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
