We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
