so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
