We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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