i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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