what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
They took my balls.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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