hell yes lets make some ravioli
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
its not stalking. its research.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
