but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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