It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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