We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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