the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
