How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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