Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
