the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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