I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
