why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
In America we eat man semen.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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