even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
God, you're like boner-b-gone
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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