you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
