He uses pillows to masturbate.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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