theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I need a burrito and a hug.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
