First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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