I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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