Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
