I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
