His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
