Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
