i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize