She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
