Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
