Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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