Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize