Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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