Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
