what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
last night I used snow as a chaser
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
