I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
