I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
