You work out of a Hotel?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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