I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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