No stitches, just platelets and will power
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Enjoy the penises
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
