I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
