I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
