you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
