Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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