I'm going to jail i love you
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
