So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize