$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
